Balancing work, design & family life

Posted on 01 April 2016

We all know that everyone doesn't 'do it all', but do we really believe that? Sometimes I'm not sure that I do. 

I would say I'm a pretty confident kind of person. I'm pretty sure on where I'm headed. What I'm meant to be doing with my life. How I want to parent. How I want my marriage to look. What direction I'd like my work life to take me.  But if I'm honest I often look at others and compare, thinking "How on earth does she do that?" Not because I'm necessarily jealous, but because I'm trying to figure out a solution to a problem.

I am always re-assessing my work/life balance. Or even should I be working at all? I feel that tension of where my time should be spent constantly. I freelance graphic design from home, I run Honey & Gold and I have other dreams and plans for my life. I know I can't do it all right in this season (thanks for the reminder Mum!), but when I look at other women who have a family and work, I do find myself wondering if maybe they hold the elusive key to this whole work/life balance thing. Maybe there is a trick that could really solve this balance for me.

I was lamenting over this 'pull' in different directions to my parents recently and my dad dropped a pearler that has left me so much more peaceful since.

He told me that:

"sometimes things are not a problem to be solved, but a tension to manage" (thanks Dad & Andy Stanley). 

You know when one thought just changes your perspective on everything? Well this was one for me. One of those epiphany's in life. 

I have never been good with loose ends. I like things neat and tidy and to make sense in my head, but this constant mum tension doesn't ever tidy up. So the realisation that this is maybe just a tension to be managed has surprisingly brought about a tonne less stress and way more peace. I just have to make the best choice for right in this block of time. Work out the best thing for right this moment and trust I will have the time or opportunity to solve the next problem when the time comes. I don't have to solve the puzzle. After trying and trying, I can now see that this is not a puzzle to be solved! I have to return to it periodically to re-assess and check it's all in the right priority. What a relief. 

I have been thinking of it like a wall of drawers on Mr Maker. Only opening one at a time. Dealing with the contents of that. Putting it away, then opening the next. And so on. (Kind of more natural for men I often think) but for someone who often has too many drawers open at once, spilling it's contents all over the floor getting confused as to which drawers I have open and what should be where, this 'managing tension' is kind of revolutionising my life right now. 

I'm sure I will revisit this tension many times in the coming months; (who am I kidding I've already thought about it today!) but I feel I never have to have it in a perfect balance. Thank you God! : )

I could write so much more on this topic, maybe I'm the only one who struggles with the work/life thing (I'm pretty sure I'm not!). I'd love to hear how you manage the tensions in your life. Shoot me an email or share on the Honey & Gold Facebook page.

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