Posted on 12 June 2018
A few months ago, I made the desperate yet confident decision to let go of my freelance design business for good. I realised I had been living in extreme stress for a number of years and my body was physically raising it’s voice at me. It felt sudden, but if I’m honest with myself, it was a still small voice I had been ignoring for way too long.
It all came to a climatic point when, after having some lightheadedness for some time I nearly fainted in a local shopping centre toilet. Not a glamorous way to go people!!.
It seemed irrational and huge to give up a flourishing freelance gig. It’s meant to be the dream to work for yourself right? But after nearly 10yrs, of designing, marketing, admin-ing, and pushing my own barrow, I was weary and I knew it was time to step away. (Do I hear three cheers for “working for the man”?!)
I have had nothing but enthusiastic support, from those in my closest circle, for this decision. It felt so huge and irrational at the time. And it didn’t compute in a financial sense. But the peace. Oh the peace I had and continue to have since making that decision. Cant’ beat it. I know, that I know, that I know, that I have made the right decision.
The past few months have been such a journey of resting & re-learning. Letting go of bad habits. Learning to rest. Spending more time with my family. Resurrecting hobbies just for the joy of it. Creating for creating’s sake.
I needed to create more room for relationships. Deal with some delayed grief issues (hello panic attack!). Carve out more time for a healthy lifestyle of more sleep, better nutrition, exercise. Make time to create and work on Honey & Gold to see what God might do if I gave him space. So I’ve been doing that.
Resting, and yet in the same breath, Trusting that God will provide. Trusting that this is a season of rest and refocus, and he has got the future sorted. Trusting he will restore; both physically and emotionally. Trusting he will provide financially.
I know God has put a big dream inside me about Honey & Gold and what it could be. For too long I was praying “God, increase this dream” and yet, if he had actually answered my prayers like I wanted, I would have had no capacity to action it! (What a nutter!!)
In this new phase of life, I am stepping out in faith. Taking a step toward what I believe is God’s will for my life right now. Clearing space to see what God will do. Creating margin to actually pursue opportunities that come up. Pursue the desires to encourage women to have more of His word in their hearts, to encourage women to create rich homes, to be strong women of God, to be dream chasers, and creative do-ers.
So, I’m stepping out with a little bit of trepidation but a backpack full of peace. I’m so glad you’re here walking alongside me on the journey!